Does that make me a bad mom?

I’m a mom for 1 year, 4 months and 14 days. There was never a day I didn’t feel blessed that I’m a mom. But there are also days, I want to escape for a couple of minutes and look for my sanity. My little one is an active and fearless toddler. Every day is a new adventure for him and a new series of mini heart attack for me. I want to tell you I’m one cool easy going mom who rarely yells and panics over single things. But no, I’m a paranoid and panicky mom! I always hear the comment “Oh, because you’re a first time mom!” I don’t know if that’s a logical explanation on how I feel or shall I feel offended.  Whenever I’m asked when will we have a second child, there’s a huge bubble thought on top of my messy hair with “@#Y%RDD$%#!#@#!!#”.  Because honestly, a second child is still a far far dream right now. Does that make me a bad mom? No. If we will be blessed with a second child, I want to give him/her the same love and care we give to our firstborn. I know this will raise eyebrows, but seriously, I want to be fair and honest to myself. I used to feel affected with the mom – bashing, but my husband reassured me I’m doing a great job and that he’s very proud of me. I rarely ask myself "Does that make me a bad mom?"

                                           

                                                

When I was still pregnant, I ate Cheetos and hotdog (but in moderation!).

When a good friend was still pregnant, she shopped for baby things right after she saw two lines at her pregnancy test. While I waited for 6 months before I can shop! (Superstitious beliefJ).

When I was still pregnant, I asked my OB if I can drink coffee and she gave me her approval. My after doctor appointment afternoons are spent at Starbucks or UCC while waiting for father-to-be finish to get off from the office.

A super close friend had her birth plan - all natural! Kudos to her!!!! The first thing I told my OBs  - both in Manila and in SG ---- Please give me a pain free delivery! Whether I’m awake or asleep during the delivery, it’s perfectly fine with me! Epidural is my ally during the big day.

Another friend had a mini welcome party for her baby in their hospital room, her room was filled with balloons and flowers and have a mini buffet treat table in the corner, she even have a mini program during dinner time and her visitors all left with a souvenir.  My visitors brought us food (but I offered them drinks! Lol!) and I even told one friend who came early compared to out other friends my birth story so HE will be the one to tell our other friends.

I swaddled my son like a lumpia and his cheeks looked like two mantou overflow from the swaddle.

Jatty's Ninang Doc co-sleep with her baby from the start while I waited for 4-5 months before we co-sleep with our son.

I give formula milk to my son while my mommy friends give breastmilk and even swapped with each other whenever need arises.

A good friend uses all natural toiletries and even her baby wipes are organic! While I used mustela, aveeno, Cetaphil, j&j and pigeon! Any brand that I can get my hands on and that will be suitable for my son.

I’m a stay at home mom while my childhood best friend is an accomplished healthcare administrator and one of the best moms I know. Mommy peg!

My mommy friends prepared their kids’ meals from scratch while I, sometimes, give my son home cooked baby food c/o his dad and organic store bought baby food.

A fellow expat friend gave her daughter evian while I give my son boiled and filtered tap water.

A mommy friend uses cloth diapers for her kids while one of our closets is stocked with disposable diapers from tape to pants.

A mommy friend designed their playroom for Montessori learning (which made me go Ooh and Aah how beautiful it is!) while our non-existing living room is filled with wooden and plastic toys. Before there were exersaucer, jumperoo, rocker, playhouse, swing and snug seat. Now, there’s still the playhouse but with his wiggly scooter, Ferrari ride on, blocks table, train ride on and talking basketball stand. Thanks to our kind friends and to my supportive husband.

A mommy friend carried her son with a wrap carrier because it feels more secure for her. While I went through with 7 strollers and 2 carriers.  My son now happily push his pram around, thinking it’s one of his toy ride on.

My friends had big first birthday party for their kids that can match a big wedding budget too. We had two small parties (a pool side party with pinoy friends in Sg and a playdate for my godchildren in Manila) and went to Disneyland on his exact birthday. Because my then 11 months old son TOLD me he wants to see Mickey Mouse on his birthday.

I got comments how my son will enjoy his designer clothes (I got them on sale). I’m sure he does, he enjoys sitting on the floor and making his bottoms his makeshift cleaning tool. He smiles back at me while the pasta sauce dripped on his Boss polo shirt. I don’t mind. I will just hope and wish that the laundry will do it’s magic.

I spend the whole day with my son while a good mommy friend goes to work Monday to Friday and juggles her time with her two beautiful kids. Do homework with her daughter and still read story books to her toddler. She went to SG for work when she was still actively breastfeeding but she pumped and brought home breast milk to her son.

One of my best friends had coffee too when she was still pregnant, my goddaughter now 3 years old, is one of the smartest kid I know.

My gorgeous mommy friend allows her children to gadgets and now her eldest is an academic achiever and her two younger kids are advance for their age. I try to bribe my son with my phone with kiddie movies during take off and landing, but I ended up holding on to him while he wiggles like a piglet.

One of my best friends left her toddler child to go back to work as a crew purser for a certain period of time. Her child is turning 7 now, an academic achiever and a very sweet little lady. All credits go to the mom.

I know how to bake since I was in grade school but I ordered cakes for my son’s baptismal reception, monthly celebrations and birthday parties. While one of my best friends is studying to bake for her kids.

My most intellectual friend raised her three kids differently from each other. She can make a mini presentation of how her kids were raised like a science experiment. But all the results will be wonderful as she have three beautiful and smart kids!

My sister from another mother (and father) is a wonderful single mom. She raised her son to respect women and honor his family.

A family friend loves to travel with her kids (take a break from her corporate life) and expose them to culture and art. She also diy all her kids parties and prepare bento lunchboxes for school.

My house is a mess and sometimes I can’t remember when the last time we properly mopped or swept the floor. I post photos of my child which are probably not pinterest worthy. Does that make me a bad mom? No. Are either of us are better mom than the others? No.

I’m annoyed when people romanticize the labels of a stay at home and a working mom. Can’t we all be MOMS? Moms who strive to become a better person for their families. Moms who will do everything for their kids, whether it’s giving up a dream job or sing hi-5 songs in public with matching dance moves. Moms who will wipe their kid’s butts and will cradle their sick kids with puke-y hair. Moms who will sneak to the nearest 7-11 and buy a beer (hoping to unwind in the sidewalk) and will toss the unopened beer to the trashcan because childcare called and toddler just threw a can of paint to her classmate. Moms who will laugh and cry when her son climbed the headboard like a monkey (milestones). Moms who will eat lunch at the floor to watch her sleeping son (never mind, she have angel board monitor and cleverdog switched on). Moms who will think of their own mother and will think how did their moms did it during the pre-hi tech days. 

Moms who blog not to be bashed or be praised but because this is their tiny space to write their feelings.

Please, let’s all be kind to each other and give each other a boost of confidence. No judgments and just pure concern and support.

I will never trade my adventures and misadventures as a mom. My son is my most beautiful adventure. I know we all share the same sentiment. :) Kudos to you, moms!