Top 10 signs you're an Expat wife

I've been an expat wife since October.... but it was only last January when I really felt it. For some reason, when people learned that I don't work... they will ask me at least three times "why? , "when will you look for a job", " do you have a child to take care of?" and since we still don't have a child, the next question most likely is.... "why are you not working? ehhhh you don't have a child?"

I googled the meaning of an Expat Wife.. and I found this.....

Expat wife. A woman who follows her husband abroad, often for his job, while her new job is caretaker and driver. She takes care of the kids, the home / showroom, herself (as in shopping, body treatments and tennis) and the social network (as in voluntary work, lunches and tennis). As a driver, she takes her kids to and from school, play dates and activities such as – tennis, usually in a fancy-schmancy car or a SUV.


Errrr... No. That description is not mine. Yes, I did follow my husband abroad... well, not really. We arrived together here in SG. We still don't have kids. My husband and I take care of the flat. Yes, I do shopping but not the body treatments (because I still find it pricey) and I don't do sports. No, I don't drive. We have plans on getting a car but definitely not a fancy-schmancy car or SUV. Cars in SG are super pricey too!


So, what's the possible signs of an Expat wife like me?


1.  I miss the comfort of our own car. And still take the cab as my first choice.
- back in PH, we're not rich. But Thank God for my parents that we're able to live comfortably because of them. We grew up with cars and a driver to bring us to school until my class schedule is close to my papa's schedule. I miss that I can buy groceries and bulky items and I don't have to worry if the items will fit in the cab. 


2.  Cold Storage and Jason's 
- these two stores offer a variety of choices for expats. From the tissue paper to condiments! and oh UCC 3in1 coffee and i-can't believe-its-not-butter! I also love Giant because they stock some Pinoy goodies and kitchen must-haves like patis and suka :) 


3. Disposable shopping at Ikea
- during our first few months, we're in Ikea almost every week! our flat is fully furnished (and the owners have a good taste too!) but we still prefer to use some items that we personally purchased i.e. cutlery, bed sheets, bathroom rugs, cookware --- all from Ikea. First, the price! everything seems so cheap compared to Tangs. And you can easily mix and match the Swedish design.


4. Shopping while googling
- because I want to try local brands, I google a lot while shopping! especially while doing the groceries. From cleaning brands to air purifier - i google for reviews while I stand in front of the item. 


5. Walk continually while looking at your phone
- not because I'm lost. But because I'm following the arrow at my Singapore map apps.


6. Ship or throw
- that's my mantra whenever I go shopping for our flat. Is this item worth to ship to Manila when we move to another country or when we go home? or this item is ok to throw after 12-24 months of usage?


7. I ride the train before and after the rush hour
-- and I go out wearing shorts, shawl when it gets cold in the train and I have a book or my phone to keep me entertain for the next 30 minutes or more. 


8. Leisure walk
-- people are always rushing here, You'll see them running in walkalator and escalators especially during rush hours. Tourists will always approach me for directions and questions how to load or top-up their mrt card, I don't look like a local but then again maybe because I move in a slower pace, tourist might find it easier to approach me.


9. Marvel at the safety at 11pm
-- still amazeballs that we can walk outside at 11pm! and still feel safe! If there's one thing I'm super happy with this country is that you feel secured and safe! Kudos to SG! i wish Manila will make us feel this way too :)


10. Sepanx with Rice...white rice and gravy
- there's no rice and gravy in Mc Donald's and some KFC branches (i.e. singapore zoo branch). For someone like me who enjoyed drizzling her steaming white rice with gravy. This is major sepanx.



My posts might sound shallow to some of you but for my fellow expat wives --- i'm pretty sure you guys can relate! :) 

Message to Moms from a non-mommy!

Agree? SuperAgree!!!! Real Moms will do whatever it takes to get it done for their kids!

My Mama will pampered us but scold us to the nth level just to make sure to get things straight. As a child, you'll have a love - hate relationship with your mom but eventually you'll realize that she will do whatever it takes to make sure you'll be in a perfect place.

I'm not yet a mommy but I love my pamangkins with all my heart. Some will say it's not the same but maybe the only difference is hindi ako yung nagdala sa kanila sa earth but the love? I can bet you all my fingers baka mas mahal ko pa sila.

1. Instinct - I know only mothers are supposed to have this, but when you love a person for so long. Kabisado mo na din when she's really happy or not. Sometimes, I woke up with a heavy heart and I'll open my phone and I have messages na, Kaya pala. Or sometimes, sasabihin nila ayaw nila ang isang bagay pero alam mo naman gusto talaga nila. Vice Versa. 

2. Unconditional Love - eto nobela post ( let's make it short) but kahit anong galit ko or sama ng loob ko. By the  end of the day, I still think of them and pray for them na ok sila. Kahit nasan pa sila. I will always pray that they're happy and healthy and most especially safe. Sometimes, we say things we don't mean sa sobrang pag mamahal natin for them but if hurtful yun sa kanila, Multiply it by a hundred sa pain we're feeling na hindi naman tayo ang mommy but our concern and love is nth level na. I cannot fathom the idea of not loving them..... minsan hindi ko na din maintindihan ang sarili. how can I love someone so much na hindi ko man lang anak? that i forgive them without saying sorry? siguro nga kasi unconditional love

3. Discipline - I will often hear this statement " madali pag hindi mo anak, pag ayaw mo na balik mo sa magulang" NOT TRUE. The hardest part of loving someone who's not your own kid is discipline. If you don't discipline them properly... people will say " e kasi hindi niya anak, kaya ok lang sa kanya ganyan yung bata" but if you scold them and grounded them " e kasi hindi niya anak, kaya mahigpit siya" or "hindi naman siya ang mommy, akala mo kung sino".  Damn you do, damn you don't. But if you really love someone, you will try your best to impart wisdom and goodness in them.

4. Loyalty - dahil nga hindi mo anak,  may loyalty yan sa parents, Kahit sayo pa nakatira yan and you spend 80% of your life with them. Loyalty to their parents with them. Expected mo na yan if you love someone na hindi mo anak. Yes, masakit kasi sa lowest points ikaw ang kasama pero sa happy moments hindi ikaw. Pero then again, due to unconditional love ok lang sayo. Ikaw pa magsasabi "don't forget your mom..." and ikaw pa ang magtatakip sa parents niya. 

5. GPS - people will say mommies are wired that way. Pero ako hindi mommy. GPS kung asan sila. Ah lunchtime na --- siguro nasa school canteen na yun, what is she eating kaya? sana hindi yung msg overload na french fries. 3pm - break niya sa office, i hope she's eating kasi maaga siya sa office kanina. baka pagod na yun. 5pm- tapos na kumon niya,I need to pick him up na (sabay takbo sa elevator). Pati sa bahay may GPS ka, GPS sa gamit nila. "Ninang, where's my shoes? the blue one, the brown one, the crocs one" and kailangan mo mahanap agad pa or else that little voice will turn to its highest volume until cranky levels. 

6. Selflessness - I grew up with a pampered childhood. But I made some sacrifices na even my closest friends wanted to kill me at some point. I won't go into details,but let's say until now pag naiisip ko yun. Hindi naman ako iyakin pero naiiyak ako in 10 seconds. Ibang level ng stupidity eto. Pero ganun talaga pag love mo kahit hindi mo pa anak. Kahit last money mo, ibibigay mo.

7. Dreams - all of us have our own dreams and goals. But mine (since I was 7 years old) kasama na sila, and even when I got married. I even incorporated my own husband sa dreams na yun. Dreams na I can support them all the way. I wished that we can travel together, and with my husband's generosity we were able to travel to 3 countries in 1 year. Whenever I remember their happy faces at the happiest place on earth, a big check sa bucket list ko.

8. Organizer, multi tasker - kahit grown ups na sila, you'll treat them sometimes like a 5 years old especially sa travels. Yung travel kit nila with the passports, itinerary, what to do when you get lost and their things to bring and snack bags same sa 5 years old! ang difference lang si 5 years old may whistle for crowded places, sila wala. And kailangan mo isipin yung needs nila before they actually need it. Foresee all the possibilities especially their needs and wants. A niece moved into a dorm para near sa school, walang ref sa room niya, I know hindi naman siya mahilig sa cold beverages but she likes snacks and with her school load. she needs all the comfort and support. A personal refrigerator, stocked with her favorite snacks, is a nice "start of the school year" gift. We got her blue para favorite color pa niya. Whenever we travel, I customized their travel kits. Pati sunblock and anti insect stickers, kasi yung isa may asthma ayaw niya ng scented. Yung isa sensitive ang skin so dapat ganitong sunblock. My mommy friends would always teased me minsan daw mas madami pa ko alam na kiddie products, research lang ng research :) 

9. Temper - I won't lie, may temper ako. Pero pagdating sa kids, wala. Kahit ibang kids, kasi iniisip ko na lang sana maging mabait din ang total strangers sa mga pamangkin ko. Example, a kid pushed a brimming pushcart sakin sa s&r, Susko, ang sakit nun, pero i smiled and told him "be careful next time ha" the mom was apologetic and super embarrassed pero iniisip ko if pamangkin ko yung kid, sana yung "victim" will still be nice and not shout at him/her.

10. Contentment - I'm a person who's rarely contented. But when I'm with them, there is a cloud of peace that enveloped me. I will always hope and pray they are in a good place kahit malayo pa sila. As long as they're in a good place ok na sakin yun. 

11. Counselor - I missed the mornings that when I woke up, i have messages from them "call me" "text me please". Usually, problema ang meaning nun. But I don't mind, as long as they need me andun ako. 

12. I have a very strong personality, always balck and white ang actions ko on things. But pagdating sa kids, iba... I worry and over think a lot. Paranoid na kung paranoid, pero sa isang pagkakamali, pwede mawala ang precious life. Yes, we can't cover all bases but process of eliminations dba? if medyo delikado, wag na gawin. Better to over react, kesa magsisi sa huli. I'm sorry but I get really pissed off when some parents say "naku ok lang yan, wag masyado sensitive sa bata" tapos pag may nangyari blaming game or isisi sa Lord. Yes, accidents happen a LOT pero yung pag iingat sa bata ay endless. 

13. Lastly, hindi porke hindi kami ang mommy. we love them less than the standards of a mom. I love those kids with all my heart kahit alam ko hindi ako ang mom, hindi ako ang katabi nila when they blow the candles sa birthday cake nila, When they go up sa stage to receive their school awards. When they walk down the aisle. When I grow old, hindi sila ang mag aalaga sakin because busy sila sa parents nila. Alam ko yun lahat. But I'm more than happy na they call me when they have problems, pag may masakit sa kanila, pag nahulog sila sa swing and they will reach out to me agad, pag nakabangga sila and we will camp sa police station at christmas eve, pag nahihilo sila sa ferry ride and they need comfort. As long as they need me, whether it's good or bad times. 

I salute all kind of moms! single, stay at home, working moms! all kind of moms! But please don't judge or make comments about ladies like me na hindi mommy na "you don't know how we feel because we're the mommies!" because we do. I do. And it's more painful because you don't have the right to feel that way but you do.

Belated Happy Mother's Day  to all Mommies, Mommies to be and Pseudo Mommies! :)

Ghost of Betrayal

I don't want to post negativity on my blog as much as possible. This tiny spot of mine at the blogosphere is my little spot of sunshine too. When I reread my posts,  I want them to be filled with giggles and smiles.  But right now, I just want to write about this ghost that have been haunting us since late last year.

The Ghost of Betrayal. When a stranger betrayed you whether it's work or business related. You'll get mad and then you do something about it. And then you can move on.  But when it's a family member who betrayed you. Anger is only secondary emotion that you will experience. There will be denial - no, that person that you're really close to... will not do such thing. Then, you'll question yourself... did I did something wrong to that person for him/her to do this to me/us? And finally, the realization of betrayal. Then, the acceptance that the person you trusted most, loved and considered as your forever ally.... will betray you in the worst case scenario.

And when you start to plan to fix this. When you started looking into the legal battle. People will tell you but "they're your family".

I don't understand that statement. When those people betrayed you they didn't consider the fact that you're family. And now, you will protect yourself and straighten things out. You will hear those words "they're your family".

Exactly. They're your family. Flesh and Blood. Is being blood related a free pass to betray someone and to get away with it?

I choose my friends, but family... I obviously can't.

But I can choose who I can consider as my family. Blood related or not. And I believe God won't get mad at me from staying away from those kind of people. Life is too short to spend on hatred and anger. And staying away from people who betrayed us will make our lives more peaceful.

I'm blessed and I'm thankful for that.  So this ghost of betrayal, your days are over.  I won't let you harm my own family. And hopefully, my future kids.

Day 7: Beauty + Daiso!

Ok,this is my last post of my 7-days consecutive shopping loot. Just to make it clear, hindi po ako shopaholic ha. Nataon lang sunod sunod talaga yung days nasa mall ako...and i bought a few things. And as a blog hopper, I love to read post ng bargain finds and shopping loots. So here I am posting some of my favorite finds. 

I dropped by Sasa to buy my Biore make up removers, but wala silang stock and then I saw this nose blackheads remover which I used to hoard from HK watsons ages ago. Hihi!

then naharang ako ng "beauty consultant" from Mica Beauty, na sales talk ako ng husto but medyo nairita din ako paulit ulit siya "don't you want to look pretty? you look so old with your dull skin. your husband will leave you" AMP! close tayo miss?! personally, i think this is just an expensive version of cure gel.

and here's my daiso finds! i need black hair pins! especially, when i practice my make up skills 

Fry Tray --- hindi ko pa nagagamit....

I saw these easy recipes with these ingredients from daiso.

shabby chic cosmetic box!

and this well-rated make up brushes &  sponges cleanser :) na hindi ko alam bakit ayaw mag-post ng maayos ang picture na 'to.....

Slightly improved ang picture taking skills. As in super slight lang but Mr. Panda said it looks better daw. Lolz. My husband, my biggest fan.

Day 6: crowning glory + kate

I used to frequent this accessories store called Lovisa at Vivo Vity when I still waited for Mr. Panda the whole day. I don't buy anything back then because we're still moving to the flat and I convert everything I spent on!!!! Now,I stopped converting ok na haha :) Plus they're on sale for 2 for 15sgd :)

And then Kate Spade.... I recently have this thing for Kate Spade :)

I love this scented candle! the scent is ok for sensitive people like me! :) and i love the golden A

and my very roomy everyday bag :) ang  daming laman ng bag na 'to! nagugulat ang mga katabi ko sa mrt when i started getting stuff inside this bag haha --- umbrella, water bottle, book, magazine, pouch, shawl, jacket .... bottomless pit nga daw e! lolz!

How about you guys? what's  your everyday bag? :)

Day 5 Mini Loot + Lorong congee!

Our talented friend Zammy, brought us to the best congee place in SG! it's located in lorong geylang, I have to admit I was kinda nervous going there. The place is somehow similar sa eatery sa binondo. Good thing, aircon siya becuase medo mainit ngayon dito. After a week, we were still craving for the congee! and Mr.Panda and I went there by ourselves lolz. In fairness, hindi kami naligaw :) I'll post the name of the resto and address when I remember it. :) Super sarap promise! I love love love Shangri La Palace dimsum and the lorong's dimsum is similar with the quality and taste! and the best part is the price! everything is less than 5sgd! unfortunately, I can't remember the names. I promise to take notes of our favorite orders :)

For now, picture overload!

Day 4 Mini Loot

Hi Guys! Kamusta ang long weekend? when I was still a corporate slave, I'm looking forward sa week na 'to as early as January haha! Here in Sg, they don't really observe the holy week...... kaya nung Thursday nanuod pa kami ng fast and the furious 7 because we lost track of dates! Maundy Thursday na pala! eeepss......

Remember my 7 consecutive days loots, here's day 4 :)

Forever21 white skirt.

I usually feel fat with white skirts! but this one hugs my pata-pata at the right places :) may slight na slimming effect :) and the best part, I got it for 10sgd lang!